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"I'd Rather Be..."
by A. Rhea King

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own them, CBS/Paramount does.
Genre: Humor/Drama
Description: Hoshi finally gets to meet her pen pal, the girls get toasted after a bad day, Archer and Trip go sand surfing, and Malcolm receives a call from his father.


Joint Issue (1)

The ship had come out of nowhere at full warp and firing on Enterprise. It had caught the night shift an hour into their shift, Archer in the shower, and the rest of his crew completely off guard. Lieutenant O’Malley had taken weapons control to return fire.

“O’Malley, what’s going on?” Archer asked as the lift door opened.

Archer was thrown against the hull as the ship rocked from a phaser blast.

“I have no idea. They came out of the blue!” Lieutenant O’Malley answered.

“Shipper, ca—”

“Senior staff has already been called to the bridge, sir. I’ve ordered all hands to their posts and Lieutenant O’Malley’s polarized the hull.”

“Sir,” Hoshi said as she ran onto the bridge.

Shipper jumped up to let her sit down. He was thrown back against the console and Hoshi barely caught herself on the railing. She pulled herself up and jumped into the chair. Hoshi shoved the earpiece into her ear.

“Hail them, Hoshi,” Archer ordered.

“On it, sir.”

T’Pol, Malcolm and Trip ran onto the bridge and took over their stations.

Hoshi tilted her head a moment when she heard a communication from the attacking ship. She sat up slowly, looking up at the screen. Hoshi reached out and turned on the translator, continuing to try hailing the attacking ship.

“Hoshi?”

“I’m working on it, sir!” Hoshi said. Her stomach tensed when she suddenly began to suspect whom their attacker was.

“Another two ships have dropped out of warp and are attacking us,” Malcolm reported

“One of them is the Dariptak. Oodahau’s father’s ship, sir,” Hoshi said.

“WHAT!?” Archer cried.

“I’m trying to hail them but they aren’t responding.”

“Demand to talk to Oodahau,” Archer ordered.

Hoshi sent the request. The ships stopped firing on Enterprise.

“Malcolm?” Archer asked.

“They haven’t stood down, sir. Two more ships have dropped out of warp and have us surrounded.”

“We’re being hailed,” Hoshi told Archer

“On screen,” Archer said.

On the screen large bugs appeared. The creatures had a wide head with eyes on flat, flexible appendages. Two large antennas stuck up from the top of their head, and like the flexible eye appendages, they moved independently much like a human might move their hands. The aliens were reclining on seat that was like a chair made backwards. They had four back feet attached to bulbous, bee-like and bee-colored bodies that ended in flat feet resembling suction pads. Their top four limbs were twig thin with three fingers that ended at a dull point. The chair that the bug sitting in the center of the bridge was reclining on had four armrests for each of his top limbs and when he spoke the point at the bottom of his arrow shaped head was all that moved.

“Identify yourselves,” he ordered.

“I’m Captain Archer of the starship Enterprise. And you are?”

“I am King Idnd and you are in my kingdom, requesting to speak to my son. How do you know my son? I have never seen your kind before.”

Hoshi closed her eyes, letting her head fall back.

“Perhaps my communications officer can explain that to both of us.”

Hoshi stood and walked out to stand beside Archer. She looked up at the screen.

“Your Highness, I apologize. Ooha—”

“You will refer to him as Prince Oodahau, not the pet name his mother gave him. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Your Highness, my sincerest apology. Prince Oodahau and I have been speaking off and on for the last three months. He assured me that you knew we were talking and I assumed he was being truthful. Had I know, I would have… Done something different.”

King Idnd rose from his chair and walked toward the view screen. “Do you have record of the times you have spoken with him?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have record of transmissions he sent to you?”

“Yes.”

“What did he send to you?”

“Pictures that he drew, a picture of you and his family, and his pet gartkla.”

“Did you transmit anything to my son?”

“Yes. Pictures of myself, the crew, our captain’s pet and some pictures of our home world.”

“You will transmit these records and everything you and he sent to one another immediately.”

Hoshi looked at Captain Archer.

“Need I remind you whose kingdom you have invaded?” Kind Idnd asked. “Do you really feel it is wise to request your Captain’s approval over mine when your ship is surrounded and we are prepared to open fire again?”

“Get them,” Archer ordered Hoshi in a hushed voice.

Hoshi went back to her station and transmitted the data King Idnd requested. She returned to Archer’s side.

“You will wait. If you attempt to flee, we will fire upon you.” King Idnd disappeared from the monitor.

“I am so sorry.” Hoshi turned to Archer. “I swear I didn’t think Oodahau was lying, Captain. I wouldn’t have continued talking to him if I’d known he was, sir. I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Archer smiled at her. “Let’s just hope this turns out well, okay?”

Hoshi nodded.

After the first hour, Archer returned to the captain’s chair to wait. Hoshi walked to her station and sat down to wait. She reached under the console and pulled out the picture Oodahau had sent her of his family. He had said he had six brothers and ten sisters. Hoshi couldn’t imagine living with a family that large and the picture showed all of his brothers and sisters, his father and his father’s ten wives. Hoshi looked up when the console beeped.

“He’s hailing us again.”

“Open a channel and get down here,” Archer told her.

Hoshi opened the channel, tossed the picture on the console and returned to her position beside Archer.

King Idnd and Oodahau were standing in front of the view monitor.

“These are the aliens?” King Idnd asked Oodahau.

“Yes, father.”

“You transmitted messages and data to them without telling me?”

“Yes, sir.”

King Idnd grabbed Oodahau and shoved him against a console. “Do you have any idea what we went through while you pulled this stunt?”

Archer clenched his fists. He wanted to stop the King from harming his son, but with four ships surrounding them, he knew it was best to keep silent.

“I’m sorry father! I didn’t know it would cause a problem!”

“We are in the middle of a war, child! Do you have any idea what we thought when we saw records of transmissions made at times when the main crew was not at their posts?”

“I’m sorry father!”

“I should kill you!”

“NO!” Hoshi cried.

King Idnd moved like lightening, his face in front of the screen. “Did you not wonder why a child was talking alone on a communication channel, human?”

“Yes, but I believed him when he said he had permission. Please, Your Highness, I can understand what this must have looked like, but he really meant no harm.”

One of King Idnd’s eyes bent back to look at Oodahau while the other remained watching Hoshi. A rattling hiss came across the communications channel. King Idnd backed away, turning both eyes on his son.

“They have invaded our space. They must die.” King Idnd turned to return to his chair.

“NO!” Oodahau cried out.

King Idnd stopped, one eye turning back to look at Oodahau. “You defy my orders?”

“Yes. If,” Oodahau turned one eye to the view monitor and the other stayed on his father for a moment. Both eyes turned to his father. “If killing me will make up for this and spare their lives, then take it, father. Please, don’t kill them. They are not bad aliens. They have children on their ship too. Have you known any of our enemy’s to take children on their war vessels? And look at the configurations!” Oodahau ran over to a console, pulling something up. “They are weak.” Oodahau spun around. “They are no threat to us. Father, whatever I have to do I will do if you will spare them. Please, do not kill them.”

King Idnd’s torso straightened up, making him appear several feet taller. He turned one eye back to the view monitor. He turned, his body a blur when he did. He walked forward, his head tilting to the side.

“My son is right. You really are of no threat, yet I must confirm this. I will come aboard and confirm that you are not a war vessel.”

“We can assure you we aren’t, but we’ll be happy to receive you, Your Highness,” Archer said.

“My guard ships will be prepared to fire if you should attempt anything.”

“Ship coming alongside,” Travis said.

“Make docking preparations, Travis. We will meet you at the docking hatch.”

“Very well.” King Idnd disappeared.

“Have you programmed the communicators, Hoshi?” Archer asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“T’Pol and Trip, join us. Hoshi.”

Hoshi retrieved four communicators and they headed for the docking door.

#

The door opened and the four nearly forgot their manners. King Idnd was gigantic. He had to crouch to come through the docking door and when he stood in the hall in front of them the top of his head almost brushed the hall ceiling and keep his antennas bent back.

A smaller Lanigiro came out beside him.

“My son, Prince Oodahau,” King Idnd said.

“Ooha,” Oodahau said, looking up at him. “They call me Ooha. I like it.”

“You are a Prince.”

“Prince Ooha?”

“Very well,” Kind Idnd said with a somewhat aggravated tone. His eyes turned down to look at the four in front of him. “They are no bigger than ratup.”

“DON’T EAT THEM!” Oodahau cried.

King Idnd tilted his head to the side, his eyes turning toward his son. “I said no bigger. I said nothing of eating them, child.”

Oodahau looked at the four. “This is my father King Idnd…but you already figured that out. He’s very kind, but we are at war. I was not thinking of that when I continued to contact you, Hoshi. Captain Archer, I am very sorry. I did not mean to cause this confusion.”

“It’s quite alright. You would like to tour my ship, Your Highness?” Archer asked King Idnd.

“As best I can. It is small.”

Archer smiled. “To us it is big.”

“Yes. I can see this. Hoshi, yes?” Kind Idnd’s eyes focused on her.

“Yes.”

“My son will remain with you. When we are prepared to leave you will bring him back here promptly. He desires to meet the children you spoke of.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” Hoshi said with a smile.

King Idnd’s head drew back. “You have interesting faces. I see much on them. Are all humans like this?”

“Yes,” Archer and Hoshi answered at the same time.

Hoshi blushed, looking down, “Sorry, sir.”

Archer laughed. “Uhm, this way, Your Highness.” Archer motioned the direction they were going to walk.

Archer, Trip and T’Pol left with King Idnd and his guard. Hoshi and Oodahau watched them leave. Oodahau moved close to Hoshi, saying in a quiet voice, “Ooha. When he can’t hear.”

Hoshi laughed, smiling. “Ooha it is. Ooha?”

“Yes?”

“Why did you lie to me?”

“I didn’t think you’d talk any more to me if I told you the truth.”

“Ooha,” Hoshi reached out, laying a hand on his arm.

Oodahau drew back from her.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Hoshi said.

“It is okay, Hoshi. Your hand feels…different.” Oodahau’s head lowered and with one of his limbs he picked up Hoshi’s hand. “Do all humans have these?”

“They’re called hands and yes.”

“Hands. Mm.” Oodahau put her hand back on his arm. “You were saying?”

“Let’s not lie to each other any more, okay?”

“Oh no. No more. Father would become very angry with me.”

“I thought he already was.”

“No. If he were very angry with me, I would have been killed right away.”

“Oh.”

Oodahau leaned close to Hoshi. “I am joking. He was testing me when you saw him. He would not kill me unless I caused a terrible act of treason.”

“Oh.” Hoshi smiled. “You’ll have to let me know when you’re joking, Ooha. I can’t hear you laugh, remember?”

“I remember. Humans and Lanigiro are very much different, but I like it. Now, please show me the children you told me of. I am anxious to meet them.”

Hoshi smiled, dropping her hand. “Come on.”

Oodahau walked next to her, talking excitedly about everything he saw as they slowly walked through the halls.


Continue to Chapter 2

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