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"I'd Rather Be..."
Rating: PG 1 Bourbon, 1 Scotch, and 1 Beer (3) Hoshi jammed her finger against the doorbell of the quarters again. The door opened and Malcolm stood in the door. “Can I help you?” Malcolm growled. “I need to talk to Vardee. Is she here?” “No,” Malcolm answered crossly. “She’s probably on the Diedra however since she swore she wasn’t coming home until I apologized. And if you do see her, tell her I’m not apologizing. It was her fault!” Malcolm closed the door on Hoshi. Hoshi stormed to a lift and waited impatiently for it. She stepped on and pressed the button for F deck. The lift descended and she stepped off, storming to loading bay three. Hoshi stomped around the Diedra and onto the ship. “Diedra, locate Vardee Reed.” “Captain Vardee is in her quarters,” the computer replied. Hoshi stormed down the hall to the captain’s quarters. She jammed her finger against the button. There was no response. She tried again but there was still no response. “VARDEE, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!” Hoshi yelled. The door opened. Sista was sitting at a table looking back at Hoshi. “What?” Sista asked in a low growl. Hoshi stormed up to her. She stopped when she noticed that Sista’s gaze wasn’t following her very well and that Sista was holding what smelled like an alcoholic drink. “Are you drunk?” Hoshi asked “Getting there,” Sista replied, bobbing her head. Hoshi sank into the chair next to her, watching Sista sip her drink. “Why?” “Husband…mmm…mean. Been mean for cintra.” “Diedra, run English translator,” Hoshi ordered. “Initializing. Translator running,” the computer informed them. “What did Malcolm do?” Hoshi asked, “He was mad when I just spoke with him. Said something about he wasn’t apologizing and it was your fault. What was he talking about?” “He asked me to help with things in the armory. I was happy to help even if he’s been mean lately. Then we get to arguing about some figures. Stupid figures,” Sista hissed then swallowed another sip of her drink. “Fight got worse until we were yelling. Archer came in and broke it up. Archer always breaks up our fights. He should just let us fight. We always work it out. But he came in and sent Malcolm to do something. He told me I didn’t need to help. So…I came down here, got drink and plan on getting drunk. Lost the battle, but not the war.” Hoshi sat back in her chair. “I just got reamed out by the captain.” “For what?” “I ran a report wrong again. He said he was tired of me running it wrong and if I didn’t start getting it right he’d have to do something.” The doorbell rang. “Enter,” Sista said, sitting back in her chair. Ensign Pierson stepped into the room. “Vardee, I need to talk to you.” “About Malcolm or Archer?” “Actually…T’Pol.” “Join us.” Sista motioned to the chair on her other side. “The more the merry, as you may say.” Ensign Pierson sat down and laid her forehead on the table. “I swear that woman hates me!” “T’Pol’s hard on everyone, Linda.” Sista patted her arm. “What she do?” “She says my job performance isn’t adequate. That others of my same rank are doing better than I am.” “Are they?” “How the hell should I know!?” Ensign Pierson fell back in her chair, throwing her arms up. “I’m a biologist. There are only four of us on board and we help out when we don’t have anything else to do, ya know? But I feel like we’re fifth wheels! And the only other Ensign that’s a biologist works with Commander Tucker in engineering! There’s nothing to compare my performance too!” “Replicator,” Sista said. Both Ensigns looked at her. “What?” Ensign Pierson asked. “Replicator.” Sista pointed to the replicator on the wall. “Get drink and then get drunk. Then worry about it when sober again.” “We can’t get drunk, Vardee. Captain Archer will get upset. That is against Starfleet regulations.” “Not against High Guard regulations.” Sista sipped her drink. “We always got drunk after a good fight, regardless of who won.” “We’re not High Guard. We’re Starfleet.” Sista nodded, pursing her lips. “Tomorrow you both have off, don’t you?” Sista asked. “Yes,” both women answered. “Get drunk, sleep it off on board Diedra, K’pan never know. I not tell. Are either of you going to tell?” “They’ll find us.” “Ahhhhh!” Sista leaned forward, grinning. “I fix that. Diedra, block sensors to and from Enterprise. Close hatch and lock. Vardee pi alpha six nine. Block all but priority one messages and mask life signs on board.” The computer beeped. Sista smiled. “You both have just disappeared. How’s does it feel to be invisible?” Hoshi got up and walked to the replicator. “What other drinks are on here?” “I dunno. I let Trip program them for the holosuite.” “Bourbon on the rocks,” Hoshi said. A glass with liquid and ice appeared. Hoshi picked it up and sipped it. She turned to Ensign Pierson. “Linda?” “Beer. Miller.” Hoshi repeated the order. She picked up the bottle of beer and took it to the table. Linda picked up the bottle and tasted the drink. She smiled. “That man knows how to program resequencers,” Linda commented. “I heard he’s been programming them since he was in high school,” Hoshi said. “Really?” “That’s what I heard.” “Did you see Lieutenant Johnson today?” Linda sat back, grinning. “If I weren’t married…” Sista laughed. Hoshi laughed. “He’s not my type.” “Eh? Who is?” Sista asked. Hoshi sipped her drink. “What are you drinking?” Hoshi asked Sista. Sista lifted her glass, looking at it. “Malcolm calls it scotch. Tastes like gilat.” Linda laughed, letting her head fall back against the chair “What?” Hoshi asked. “There’s an Earth song called that.” “Called gilat?” Sista asked. Linda laughed, “No.” “What is it called?” “One bourbon, one scotch and one beer.” The women laughed. “Who do you like, Hoshi?” Linda pried. Hoshi grinned. “Lieutenant Frank Lark. That man has a fine…MM-MM!” The women laughed again. “He is fine.” Linda nodded. “So tell us, Vardee.” Sista looked at Linda. “Tell you what?” “Tell us about your husband’s finer habits.” Linda grinned, swallowing a drink of beer. Sista grinned in return. “My husband…is well endowed. We may fight a lot, but he makes up for it in the middle of the night.” All three women laughed. “To the men we have…” Sista raised her glass. Hoshi and Linda lifted their glasses and beer bottle, toasting them to Sista’s. “And can’t kill.” The three laughed. “And to the men we wish we had,” Linda lifted her beer bottle again, grinning, “At least for one night.” Hoshi lifted her glass, “And to ignoring regulations and getting completely plowed!” The three women toasted, cheered and swallowed a drink. Linda leaned on the table, starting to tell a story about her ex-husband. |
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