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"Pen to Paper"
Rating: PG Hole In The Wall (2) Archer stepped around a corner checking for Trip but he wasn’t there. Archer turned and started walking down the hall again. One of Trip’s men had told him that Trip was back here, but so far Archer wasn’t having any luck finding him. “Where is he, Port?” Archer asked, glancing down at Porthos. Porthos looked up at Archer as he trotted along beside him. Archer stopped at a junction and found Trip. “Come on Port,” Archer said with a smile His smile faded when he got close enough to see Trip’s face. Trip’s stance said he was furious, and he wore a ‘ready to kill’ expressions. In front of Trip two crewmen were laying on the floor, both squeezed into an access panel opening. Archer’s brow furrowed. Two crewmen? Why were two crewmen in the opening? And how could they possibly work like that? What was Trip up to? Trip cocked his head to the side, making Archer look at him. Archer reached down and picked Porthos up as he continued toward Trip. Trip looked at Archer when he stopped beside Trip. Archer opened his mouth to speak and Trip motioned him to wait. Trip looked back down at the men. Now Archer could hear the crewmen’s conversation and it made him raise his eyebrows. One laughed, quietly saying, “Ooooo, baby. She looks even better without clothes.” “Ensign Pierson just came in!” the other one almost squealed. “Oh my God! She wears that under that uniform? I think I know who I’m going to have to move in on.” “Lieutenant Hess…look. Over there just stepping out of the shower.” “Look at that woman’s ass! I could handle that and those tits all night.” Archer looked up at Trip, who’s face seemed to have tensed a little more in the few seconds Archer had been standing there. Trip reached out and snatched Porthos from Archer. He crouched down and sat Porthos on the floor, pointing to the two crewmen. “Go get ‘em. Get ‘em, Port,” Trip said in a hushed voice and then stood. Porthos trotted in between the two crewmen. “Look at that woman’s—” the first stopped mid-sentence. The two crewmen slithered out of the access opening and slowly unfolded to rigid attention in front of Archer and Trip. Ensign Lowes was a blonde haired, blue eyed man in his mid-twenties. He stood a few millimeters taller than the Ensign Alonzo. Alonzo’s matte black hair soaked up most of the light, he was stockier than Lowes with olive colored skin. Archer crouched, snapping his fingers to Porthos. Porthos ran over to him and Archer scooped the dog up as he stood. “Gentlemen,” Trip said. His accent had grown thick and heavy with anger. “Sirs,” the men responded. “Did you two gentlemen find what keeps shorting out control boards in this area?” “Yes, sir, Commander, sir,” the men replied in unison. “And?” Neither man answered. “What’s shorting them out, Ensign Alonzo?” Trip asked. “Water…sir,” Ensign Alonzo answered. “I see. Where is the water coming from, gentlemen?” Neither man answered. Trip’s jaw began twitching. Archer long ago learned this was a sign that Trip was about to blow up. The two ensigns were treading on paper-thin ice “Maybe some of that water got in you men’s ears,” Trip’s voice grew darker with his anger. “Where is the water coming from?” “The women’s shower room, sir,” Ensign Lowes answered. “You men confirmed that?” “Yes, Commander,” both answered. “And how did you two confirm it, Ensign Lowes?” “We, uhm…” Ensign Lowes swallowed hard. “ANSWER ME!” Trip snapped, causing even Archer to jump. “There’s a hole in the wall, sir, and the water’s coming through it,” Ensign Lowes quickly answered. “A hole?” “Yes, sir.” “That opens into the women’s shower room?” Neither ensign answered him. “What were you two doing together in that opening? Besides being cramped and make very inappropriate remarks.” Neither man answered. “I asked you two men a question and I expect an answer NOW!” Trip yelled. “Watching the women in the women’s shower room through the hole in the wall, sir,” Ensign Alonzo answered and then swallowed hard. Archer tightened his face to keep from laughing. This really was inappropriate and his laughter would undermine Trip reprimanding his two men for their infraction. “You two men have twenty minutes to repair the hole, replace the board, and get to section twelve on B deck. And then you are peeling potatoes for the rest of the week. Report to Chef. Is that clear?” “Yes, sir, Commander, sir.” “Get to work!” Trip snarled. The two men turned and hastily returned to the work they had been sent to do. Trip turned to Archer. “Can I help you, Cap’n?” “Hm?” Archer asked, looking at Trip. “Did you need something, sir?” Trip asked Archer. Archer pressed his lips together when a smile flickered across Trip’s lips. Trip’s eyes started to water from the laughter he was holding back. “There’s a power fluctuation I need you to look into,” Archer lied. “I’ll show you where.” “Yes, sir.” Archer turned and the two walked away from the ensigns. When they were far enough away Archer started laughing. Trip was smiling when Archer looked back at him. “I would have liked to have seen some of the women that they mentioned naked,” Trip said in a very hushed voice. “And I have a girlfriend. I’m going ta hell!” “Ohhhhh,” Archer laughed. “That was very inappropriate of them, yes, but had it been me, I would have kept my mouth shut and watched and drooled. You have a partner in your damnation, Trip!” “Did you see the look on their faces when they came out?” Trip asked. Archer nodded, laughing harder. “I would have given anything to see them when Porthos went in there.” Trip leaned against the wall with Archer, putting his hands on his knees while he laughed. Archer looked down at Porthos in his arms. “We need a comic relief. You up for the job, Port?” Porthos barked and began beating Archer’s side with his tail. Archer sat the dog down, so he could try regaining his composure. “A hole in the women’s shower. It doesn’t get any more classic than that!” Archer said. Both men burst into another round of gut wrenching laughter “You weren’t mad at them,” Archer laughed. “I was mad!” Trip laughed. “But when I looked at that prune face you had…” “I didn’t have a prune face!” “Let’s go check the visual sensor. It was bad. Ya looked like you’d just sucked on a lemon!” Both men laughed harder. Archer fell to the floor, leaning against the wall. Trip slid down the wall, sitting down beside him. Porthos jumped on the men, trying to lick their faces even as they pushed him away. “Oh, Trip, I needed that today.” “Thank Ensigns Alonzo and Lowes, sir. This is at their expense.” Their hysterical laughter renewed. The men looked up to find T’Pol standing in front of them. “He started it,” they said together, pointing at each other. T’Pol said nothing, which instigated another howl of hysterical laughter. “Humans are curious,” T’Pol commented. And the men laughed harder. |
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