"Who Woulda Known?" by A. Rhea King Rating: PG Disclaimer: Don't own them, CBS/Paramount does. Genre: Humor/Drama Description: The prank wars continue to ramp up, Archer has a hard time delivering fatherly punishment, Trip and Archer take a mud bath, and the crew encounters an extra-terrestrial television ad. Stop That Running Cap! (5) Ensign Fletcher flipped his cap up and caught the top. He took it by the brim and started turning it, looking at the lift controls. The lift stopped on deck D and the doors opened. Ensign Fletcher smiled when Trip and Captain Archer looked up at him. “Evening, sirs,” Fletcher said, stepping around the two. He glanced down at Porthos standing between the two men. “Hey Porthos.” Porthos looked up at Ensign Fletcher, wagging his tail in response. “Evening Ensign,” Trip said as he stepped onto the lift past Fletcher. Fletcher tossed his hat up again as he walked away. “Porthos,” he heard Archer call. Fletcher reached out to grab his hat as it fell back toward him and a flash of brown and white appeared, snatched the hat from mid-air and took off at a run down the hall. “PORTHOS!” Ensign Fletcher yelled. Ensign Fletcher ran after the dog and had to smile at the sight. His cap was flapping back and forth, sometimes completely covering the Beagle’s head. Porthos reached a dead end and spun, dropping the hat in front of him. He crouched down on his front legs, wagging his tail and growling at the Ensign. Ensign Fletcher stopped in front of Porthos. “Oh! So that’s what this is all about?” Ensign Fletcher smiled. “You think you’re big and bad!” Porthos barked, wagging his tail harder. Fletcher laughed and grabbed for the hat. Porthos snatched it away and ran around Ensign Fletcher, stopping behind him and again dropping it and crouching. Ensign Fletcher spun around, grabbed for it and laughed when Porthos snatched it up as his fingertips grazed the material. Porthos darted between his legs and spun around to repeat his game of keep away. Archer and Trip rounded the corner and stopped, watching the two and laughing “That’s my hat ya’ silly mutt!” Ensign Fletcher laughed at the dog. Porthos snatched the hat and ran toward Archer and Trip. Archer reached out to grab him and he dodged Archer’s hand, slipping between his legs. “Excuse me, sirs,” Ensign Fletcher said, racing past the two. Archer turned and followed at walk. “Uhm…I guess you should tell T’Pol we’re going to be late, huh?” Trip asked Archer. Archer stopped at companel. He leaned against the wall, watching down the hall instead of using the companel. Porthos had stopped in a junction and was playing keep away again. Ensign Fletcher played a couple rounds before snatching the Beagle up and tugging his cap away from Porthos. He lightly batted Porthos across the nose with the cap, laughing each time Porthos tried to grab the cap from him. Ensign Fletcher pulled the cap on backwards on his head and Porthos barked, watching the cap. “Yeah. Well. Fun has to end. I’m starving,” Ensign Fletcher explained to the dog. Porthos licked his chin and he gave the dog a rub on the head. “Yeah. Yeah. Sorry when it counts, right?” Porthos barked. Ensign Fletcher sat him down and pointed to Archer. “Go on.” The Beagle barked, dancing around Ensign Fletcher’s feet. The Ensign crouched down, rubbing the dog’s head again. “Maybe later. Go on, Porthos. Go.” “Come ‘ere Porthos,” Archer called. Porthos trotted over to Archer and sat down at his feet, dusting the floor with his tail. Archer smiled at him. “Have fun?” Porthos let out a low howl. “Good. Can we go to supper now?” Porthos barked and howled. “Good evening, Captain,” Ensign Fletcher called. Archer looked up, watching him disappear into the adjoining hall. Archer looked down at Porthos. “You have friends everywhere, don’t you?” Archer started walking back toward the lift. Trip fell in beside him, glancing down at Porthos with a smile. The two stepped onto the lift and Porthos sat down between them. He barked at the closing door. Back to Chapter 4 Continue to Chapter 6

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