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"Who Woulda Known?"
Rating: PG The Mud Bath Incident (7) They were wet and hot and tired and—except for T’Pol—they had all lost their patience to even tolerate one another’s voice. Archer had finally ordered everyone to shut up until they reached the shuttle pod, yelling the order so loud it had momentarily silenced the non-stop chorus of birds that had began grating on his nerves for three days now. Archer looked up at Ensign Cutler walking in front of him. The back of her tank top was soaked with sweat that made her skin gleam. A huge green leaf slipped over her shoulder and he ducked to miss getting yet another cut on his face from the razor edged leaf. As if on queue, the eight stopped when they heard thunder rumble. “NOT AGAIN!” Cutler yelled, letting her head fall back. “I hate this planet. This planet SUCKS!” “The shuttle is another three kilometers,” T’Pol informed Cutler. She was four people ahead of Archer, but the lush plant life hid her from his view. “Move people!” Archer snarled. From behind Archer, Trip muttered, “Move please.” Archer ignored him. The line started moving again. They could hear the heavy rains coming and then it was on them again, drenching them, their camping gear and darkening their moods even more. Archer kept walking, ducking his head to use the brim of his cap to keep the rain off his face. The brim of his cap was soaked to the point it simply wilted down over his eyes this time. Archer angrily ripped it off his head and tossed it aside. The rain became a deafening downpour that drowned out all other sounds. Archer felt Trip’s hand on his shoulder and heard him say something. “What?” Archer yelled over the rain, looking back at Trip. And then he and Trip were both flying down the side of the mountain with a mudslide. The two kept hitting each other as they attempted to keep their distance from outcropping rocks and logs. Sometime during the slide their packs were ripped off their backs. The mudslide rolled the two men over a two-meter drop, depositing them in a heap in the center of a shallow pool of mud. Trip surfaced and groped around the mud for Archer. Archer sprung to his feet gasping for air, slipped and landed on his butt beside Trip under the flow of mud running off the mountain side and powering over their heads. The force of the flow kept the two down men and all they could was make an air pocket around their mouths with their hands and wait for it to stop. The rain that had brought on the mudslide passed as fast as it had come and the flow finally slowed to dripping mud over the ledge. Archer dropped his hand, glaring into the rainforest ahead of him and muttering curses at the situation. Trip cleared his throat. “Shut! Up!” Archer snapped. Trip smiled. “Mud’s good for the skin.” Archer looked at Trip. “I suppose this is fun for you?” Trip grinned. “No. But this is.” Trip leapt to his feet and dunked Archer into the mud and pulled him back up. Archer swung his fist at Trip, his punch finding Trip’s side. The two broke into a fistfight that quickly became a game of dunking and keep away accompanied by laughing and taunting. “BOYS!” The two turned, finding the rest of the away team standing at the edge of the pool staring at them. The two men were covered with dark brown mud and only the whites of their eyes showed. They both grinned, adding the white of their teeth to their mud masks. Hoshi grinned. “Captain.” “Yes?” Archer started toward the shore of the pool. All but T’Pol instinctively backed away. Hoshi grabbed T’Pol’s arm, pulling her back with them and safely out of Archer or Trip’s reach. “Have you taken your medication, Captain?” “Captain Archer isn’t on medication,” T’Pol stated. Archer grinned. “Yes. Want some?” “No. Are you two children having fun?” Trip stood up next to Archer, his grin widening. “We should do that again!” Archer looked at Trip. “The whole sliding down the mountain and dropping into the pool. That was fun.” “Oh yeah! That was awesome!” “UH-HUM!” Hoshi said. The two looked at her. “Could we maybe go?” Hoshi asked them, motioning up the mountain. “Oh. Yeah. That,” Archer smiled again. “What’d’ya think Trip?” Trip appeared to be thinking. “Go or stay. Go or stay. Tough decision.” “That’s it. We’re leaving them you two here!” Cutler turned and started back up the mountain. Archer laughed, watching all but T’Pol start up the mountain. “Sweetheart,” Trip crooned, opening his arms to T’Pol as he walked toward her. She turned and followed the away team up the mountain. “What got into her, ya think?” Archer asked Trip, watching her disappears into the foliage. “I dunno.” Trip turned and pushed Archer back in the pool Archer surfaced, lunged up and yanked Trip back into the mud. The two broke into a wrestling match. Trip got Archer locked in a headlock and counted to five. He jumped to his feet. “WINNER! HA-HA! You may be able to fly circles around me, Jon, but you will never, ever be able to win wrestling!” Archer’s smile turned cool as he looked up to Trip. “Maybe so. But so long as you keep yapping, I’ll always out-wit you!” Archer leapt up, wrapped his arm around Trip’s neck and tripped him back into the mud with him. Trip surfaced and threw mud at Archer, covering him again with mud. The two sat back in the mud laughing hard. “CAPTAIN!” the away team yelled from the trail above them. The two looked up the mountain and then at each other. “I think they wanna go somewhere,” Archer said. “Naw. Figment of your imagination.” “TODAY CAPTIAN!” Hoshi yelled. “Ma Hoshi’s callin’. Better go,” Trip said, climbing out of the pool. “She’s always ruining my fun!” Archer joked. The two started the trudge up the mountain. “I think this is one to write home about. Not the before part. That was terrible.” “The ruins were interesting.” Archer pointed out. “Really far, but interesting.” Trip stopped, looking back at Archer. “Are you insane?” “Certifiable,” Archer said as he passed Trip. “I knew that!” Archer laughed. He reached the trail to find the others waiting and looking cross. “What fun is it being a captain if I can’t forget I’m a captain once in a while?” Archer asked them. Hoshi rolled her eyes and they all turned to follow T’Pol. Hoshi glanced back, smiling at Archer. Archer laughed, glad to see he wasn’t in too much trouble with his crew. |
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