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"Fish Camp Tale"
Rating: PG
Genre: “Sincerest Form of Flattery Challenge”, humor When the weather’s still warm here in South Louisiana, right after the sticky heat of the summer and right before huntin’ season, me and a few a my friends like ta hang around the camp after a weekend of fishin’ in the Gulf and tell stories. Some a those stories get pretty wild. Maybe it’s the comp’ny. Maybe it’s the beer. I dunno which. Last weekend, Mike Breaux, a friend a mine from over by Donaldsonville, brought a cousin a his from Mississippi along… some old coot by the name a Jackson. He was a character, lemmee tell ya. Had a Mississippi accent so thick ya could cut it and spread it on bread. He told a story we all had a hard time swallerin’. This is what he told us. I didn’t leave nuthin’ out. Not a single word. “Ya’ll’re allus tellin’ them tall tales ’bout the one that got away, but they ain’t nuthin’ compared ta the story my friend Charlie told me a while back. Bein’ as how he ain’t here, gimme one a them long necks and lemme tell ya ‘bout Charlie Tucker’s boy, Trip. “Umm, yeah. That’s damn good beer! “Anyways… y’all know Tucker’s boy’s some high powered engineerin’ type out there on that starship, right? Charlie’s been braggin’ on him somethin’ fierce fer a couple years now. Well, come ta find out that the boy changed horses in mid-stream there and left Enterprise fer that new ship… what’s it called? Challenger maybe? “Oh, yeah. Well, I knew it started with a “C”. “Anyways… Charlie told me it was ‘cause the new ship’s engines needed overhaulin’ and his boy was the only one for the job. I have my own ideas ‘bout that, though. Seems like every week Charlie was braggin’ about how young Trip was just a chip off the ol’ block with the ladies. I’m thinkin’ alla that charm finally caught up with the boy. Heh. Yeah. A starship’s a mighty small place if ya got two females after ya… maybe more if Charlie weren’t exaggeratin’ too much. “So young Trip was on that there other ship, just travelin’ along, and they came across Enterprise, and went along together for a while. Seems Trip had a buddy named Mal back on Enterprise who got a hankerin’ ta do some fishin’, but there weren’t nothin’ ta catch out there a course, being as how there weren’t no fish within ‘bout 200 light years, so Mal decides he’s gonna set out a line and catch hisself a ship. Well, before ya know it, them two ships are travelin’ along at warp speed connected to each other by a big fat fishin’ line! “Well, Trip, he don’t wanna be left outta the fun, so he decides ta grab that line… and guess what he does? He rides the damn thing from one ship t’other just ta pay a visit! Scares the pee-wocky-doo outa Mal an’ everybody else. Mal figures he’s caught the biggest catch anybody ever caught, though, what with how big that there ship is… Columbia, right?... so he don’t mind much.” Then Jackson just shut right up and wouldn’t do nothin’ but drink more beer. When he told that tall tale, well, none of us believed it. We just figured it was all in fun. There ain’t no way he was tellin’ the truth. I mean, I’d sooner believe the boy was sleepin’ with a Vulcan, ya know? End |
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