"The Object of My Desire" By Distracted Rating: PG Genre: “Sincerest Form of Flattery Challenge”, drama Summary: It’s only indirectly TnT, but hopefully you’ll all see why I had to do it this way. I am sick, or so my physician has informed me while repeatedly forbidding my release from this place. His intransigence has placed a pall upon my spirit which I am eager to dispel. I have been told that my treatment plan includes allowing me the freedom to express my distress through journaling. Distress! Indeed I am distressed. To be thought mad when I am no such thing is a burden upon my soul. My condition is not madness, but the desire to experience the fullness of passion in all its forms. Elation… terror… despair…astonishment… all of these have been denied me by the cruel happenstance of my birth. Had I been the child of a human or a Klingon, they would have been my birthright. Only my Vulcan parentage thus restricts my experience. The injustice of it does distress me. My intense longing for passionate interaction with another being has placed me here, and I must confess that it was primarily my forceful attraction to one ethereal creature which was my undoing. From the moment that my eyes were first riveted by her exquisiteness, I found her impossible to resist. She was grace personified and beauty incarnate, with a profound erudition which awed me. Her innocence and lack of self aggrandizement likewise charmed me most successfully. Shortly following our first meeting, I became preoccupied with the idea of possessing her. Her aloof, typically Vulcan character and her obvious distaste for the V’tosh Katur only served to whet my appetite for the challenge. Through patient discussion and careful tutelage I was able to coax her to risk enkindling the forbidden passions which are the fate of every Vulcan who chooses to forego the strict disciplines of our race. When alone with her following her first night of dreams, I detected a faint emerald flush upon her cheek when her eyes fell upon my body. I was emboldened by her glance, and was thereby convinced that she desired me as well. Although she later proved to be most fickle and cruelly dismissive of my regard for her, at the moment when she agreed to attempt the meld I was the most ecstatic and joyful of beings. Our mental union seemed to me to be concrete evidence of a dramatic sympathy of soul for soul between myself and the object of my obsession. Inexplicably, she thought it a rude invasion, and was fearful of it. No attempt at reassurance was successful, and in my desperation to continue, I succumbed to yet another emotion. Fury overwhelmed me. I meant no harm, and yet in my zeal to possess her I did damage her beyond her ability to forgive. My anger knew no bounds, and I sought at first to destroy her, tormented by her refusal of me. I had no true desire to harm her, however, and retreated to regain control. Meditation does have its uses. Once serenity had returned, I immediately realized my error, and I transferred my attentions to those forbidding me access to her. My encounter with her captain tested my resolve, for I knew that if I seriously injured him I would be barred from contact with the object of my desire, and yet my fury was such that I narrowly escaped killing him. The final betrayal by my own captain, his cruel incarceration of me without justification or due process, was the event which forced me to make my decision. I began at that moment a mental listing of all those who would keep my beloved from me. I became determined to eliminate them, and thus regain her regard. This determination has not waned. Indeed, as the months pass I find myself longing with an earnest and consuming desire for the mental touch of the one exquisite being deserving of my unfaltering affection. I have wholeheartedly forgiven her betrayal. I have not, however, been idle. I have succeeded in convincing my physician of my benign intentions, and am allowed access to the transmissions of current events within the common room of this facility. Sitting here amongst the truly mad, I have become even more convinced of my sanity. The transmissions have given me a new focus for my efforts. I feel confident that, given sufficient time, I will be successful in my campaign to overcome my physician’s reluctance to release me from this place. Once I am released, my goal is clear. Only one obstacle remains. The latest newscasts of the conquering heroes returning from war, detailing in voyeuristic detail each crew member’s plans for the future, every choice of recreation, every side voyage to meet family members and friends, have made it clear to me that there remains only one person to be eliminated in order to free the heart of my beloved T’Pol. Commander Charles Tucker the Third must die. End

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