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"Five Weddings (and a Funeral for My Sanity)"
Rating: PG-13 So I made 'em up for this story. So read and enjoy! Oh, and this is set sometime in the years between "Terra Prime" and "TATV". Five Weddings (and a Funeral for my Sanity) aka A Family Reunion in Sickbay One “Doc, you never told me she was comin’ back!” Phlox chuckled and gave Commander Tucker one of his wide grins. “Feezal is the main developer of the new Sickbay upgrades, Commander. She will supervise their installation when we’re docked at Jupiter Station.” “Ah. So she’ll be pretty busy with the upgrades, then?” The Denobulan wondered at the hopeful tone in the engineer’s voice, but replied, “I’m sure most of her time will be spent here, in Sickbay, but I’m sure she will find the time to visit with old friends. So, there, Commander—“ Phlox finished applying the dermal regenerator to Tucker’s arm, “—how does that feel?” “Just like new, Doc. Thanks.” Tucker flexed his hand and smiled at the results. “Well, I gotta get back to work. Say hi to Feezal for me when she comes aboard, will ya? I’m gonna be up to my eyeballs with the warp engine upgrades and I won’t be around a whole lot.” “I’ll relay your good wishes, Commander,” Phlox promised. “I’m sure she will appreciate the sentiment.” “Thanks, Doc.” Phlox watched the engineer leave Sickbay and thought, It was nice of the commander to think about Feezal, even when he must be so busy with the new Warp Seven engine. I will definitely let her know about his good wishes. Now that Tucker was romantically involved with Commander T’Pol, Phlox knew that there was no chance that Tucker would accept another relationship with Feezal, even if Feezal asked again. I understand that the Commander was raised not to enter into a relationship with another man’s mate. I didn’t understand the rationale at first, but now I do. A pity. Humans can be quite limiting of themselves in certain areas of their society. Phlox shrugged and remembered T’Pol’s quote, “Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.” Perhaps it would be a mantra that he would do well to remember. He brought his attention to the message Feezal had sent ahead of her arrival. Unlike her regular messages, this one was in her own handwriting, in Denobulan script. Usually, that meant it was personal news about her and their extended family. Phlox grinned; she kept track of all their relatives with ease. It was that wonderful, scientific mind, he thought, that was able to compartmentalize all the various bits of information into a cohesive whole. My love, she had written, I am so looking forward to seeing you again during the refit of Enterprise’s Sickbay. While I am eager to show you all the advances we’ve made in the past several years, there are other, more personal, news I must share. As Doctor Lucas would say, perhaps “you should sit down; this could be quite a doozy.” Phlox chuckled. So, Feezal had picked up some Earth expressions from Jeremy Lucas. Such an open mind; no wonder she’d been so attracted to Commander Tucker on her first visit here. Second cousin Floos has finally proposed marriage to his future third wife, Anrias. You remember her...the architect? Unfortunately, that means that Floos’s previous third wife has left him and taken up residence with Lopnuz, that spoiled brat of a administrative sneak. Frankly, love, I would have asked your dear Commander Tucker to dump industrial waste on him, or your dear Lieutenant Commander Reed to stuff him in one of his weapons bays and shoot him into a star. “Floos is getting married again?” Phlox clucked his tongue. “To Anrias? This will be interesting.” Right after that, Yutis announced her betrothal to Idrmu. And Okrna to Pletzin. And Opur to Kirltan. And Ghroris to Nubrie. Can you imagine? Five weddings?? Needless to say, your first and second wives are in complete shock, not to mention ecstasy. About time, I’d tell them. You first wife’s two children and your second wife’s two children, marrying all within the space of a month, in addition to Second Cousin Floos! I am grateful that both you and I will be away from Denobula during this time. It will be utter chaos!! “Yes,” Phlox murmured. He covered his eyes with his hand. Very, very grateful. To top it all off, Shastia died last week, right before I left for Jupiter Station. You know how your first wife’s family loved their matriarch. She was alive for the better part of five centuries, you understand. In any case, a little sorrow among the joy. So they’ve been in seclusion for three days, with two more to go. The family wants to give her a grand funeral, grander than anyone in the city has seen since—well—ages. Phlox rolled his eyes and muttered, “Oh, Feezal, what did you do now?” I mentioned the fact that you and I will be at Jupiter Station and would not be able to attend the various ceremonies. But Azkiel (your first wife, remember?)...the woman would not hear of us missing the “important parts”. So she managed to convince the Patriarch to bring the family for a brief visit to Jupiter Station and have us witness everything in one day. And not only that, in your brand new, upgraded Sickbay aboard Enterprise. Everything. The whole family. One day. In your Sickbay. My love, I nearly screamed in horror. Luckily, I will be there ahead of them to assist you in the preparations and explain to Captain Archer about our...predicament. I must go now...the medical frigate is here. Until later, your darling, Feezal. Phlox sat back in his seat, his eyes wide. Then he did what Feezal wished she could do. He screamed at the top of his lungs in complete and utter dismay, and at that moment, he didn’t care just who heard him. He cared about five minutes later. Much to his chagrin, someone had overheard and called Security, who called Ensign Bernhard Mueller, who called Lieutenant Commander Reed, who called Captain Archer. All three men, plus Lieutenant Hoshi Sato-Reed, rushed into Sickbay, expecting some kind of alien incursion or some mad crewmember tearing down the walls. To their utter shock and surprise, they found Doctor Phlox sitting on the floor of his office, his arms wrapped around his legs, rocking back and forth and keening under his breath. “Um...what’s wrong with him?” Captain Archer whispered. He stared at Phlox as if the Denobulan was about to explode like some kind of bomb. “Phlox?” Hoshi called softly. She knelt next to him, just close enough to announce her presence without touching him. “What’s wrong?” Phlox stopped keening and began laughing. He gazed up at the bewildered audience above him. “Forgive me, Captain. I just received some utterly disturbing news from home.” Hoshi’s eyes widened. “Oh, no.” He shook his head. “It’s not what you think, Lieutenant. I received a message from my wife, Feezal, and, well, it’s quite complicated to explain. Her message is on the PADD.” She accepted the PADD from him, then read over the Denobulan script. Her mouth moved silently as she scrolled down to the next page. When it was over, she looked up at Phlox with a look of complete sympathy. “Five weddings...and a funeral?” “The funeral will be for my sanity, by the time this is all over,” Phlox muttered. Malcolm traded concerned glances with Captain Archer; it was unlike Phlox to be so pessimistic. Phlox caught the glance and said, “The children of my first two wives have decided to wed and the matriarch of my first wife’s family has died. Denobulans have elaborate ceremonies for the milestones of one’s life, such as marriage, the birth of children and death. Unfortunately, the timing of these events coincide with the upgrades to Enterprise.” “I can see where that might be a problem,” Archer said in a soothing tone. “You and Feezal will be here during all the family events. Do you need some time off to attend all of them?” Phlox shook his head. “Since Feezal and I will not be able to attend them on Denobula, Azkiel—my first wife—convinced the Patriarch of her family to bring the ceremonies to us.” Hoshi added, “To Jupiter Station and Enterprise. Specifically here, in Sickbay.” She glanced at Phlox. “Just how many people are you expecting to come here?” Phlox gave her a weak smile. “Azkiel, her two other mates and her two children about to get married. Zarial—my second wife—with her two other mates and her two children about to get married. The Patriarch, his third and surviving wife. The families of the soon-to-be spouses, Feezal, myself, two of my daughters...” Bernhard Mueller, who’d been silent until now, muttered a German curse under his breath. “Gott in Himmel. This will be a nightmare.” Archer was still stunned. “All those people, here in Sickbay.” “Yes, Captain.” “And there’s no way to convince your first wife...um...” “Azkiel.” “Azkiel, to hold these ceremonies somewhere else?” Phlox shook his head. “No, Captain. Once the Patriarch has made up his mind, well, the rest of the family follows suit. Now, he isn’t the head of my immediate family, remember, so I could tell them not to come, but Feezal has pointed out that such an action would be...highly unusual in a Denobulan family, not to mention rude. Feezal was breaking protocol just in giving me advanced warning.” “Well, it seems that you’ll be having some kind of family reunion in Sickbay, then,” Malcolm said. His voice was sober, though his eyes twinkled in amusement. “We’ll have to make the necessary security arrangements, of course.” Bernhard sighed and rolled his eyes, but he didn’t object to his boss’s statement. Archer gave Phlox a sympathetic nod. “You’ll have to give all of us a crash course in Denobulan customs and ceremonies, Doctor. Hopefully, things will all go smoothly.” Phlox stifled his own sigh. He had a very bad feeling about all of this. |
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