"Five Weddings (and a Funeral for My Sanity)" by Lady Rainbow Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Don't make money off 'em. Notes: I actually had to diagram Phlox and his relationships with his various wives, their other husbands, the various kids, etc. and integrate what was said in ENT: “Stigma” with my made-up stuff. Yeesh, and I thought MY family was complicated, LOL! We meet some of Phlox’s family here, and yes, Feezal makes a reappearance. For reference (I hope this makes sense): Azkiel is Phlox’s first wife and she’s a botanist. Yutis is her daughter (who is getting married) Opur is her second daughter (also getting married). They are NOT Phlox’s. Mettus IS Phlox’s son (his youngest), and he’s the one who has the anti-Antaran beliefs. You find out where he got that from. The Matriarch who died, Shastia, was the eldest female in Azkiel’s branch of the family. Feezal is Phlox’s second wife. Her daughters Lailah and Treesal are also Phlox’s. Both Lailah and Treesal have no mates. Yet. Zariel is Phlox’s third wife. Her oldest son Nesnuz is an artist and a potter and her middle son Reestus is a director (both are Phlox’s sons). Okrna is her daughter (getting married) and Ghoris is her son (getting married) from other mates (NOT Phlox). “Ich hab’ mein Herz in Heidelberg verloren” literally means, “I’ve lost my heart in Heidelberg”, and is the first line of a love song. Heidelberg is supposed to have the reputation of being a “romantic city”, so Johannes Birkenwald (from Heidelberg) teases Bernhard Mueller with it. The teledrama “Three Gals and a Denobulan” was mentioned in one of my other fics, “Deadly Negotiations”. Travis mentioned a subspace subscription of it to Malcolm as a prank... and um...someone else got it by mistake. And actually didn’t mind. Three Feezal Phlox sighed as she snapped shut her bioreader. Next to her, her daughter Treesal chatted with Nesnuz, her half-brother. Nesnuz was a potter, who lived with his mother, Zariel, who was Phlox’s third wife. Nesnuz talked about his latest creations; Feezal only listened with half her attention. “The budium oxide sample you gave me gives the clay the richest scarlet hue I’ve ever seen. I don’t think prusarium achieved it in fifty applications...” “Well, I mentioned to one of my biochemist colleagues about your latest project and he said uiorum mixed with the budium should alter the chemical composition—“ “What will be the result? I don’t need to hear the details about its positive and negative ions and its covalent and weak bonds, Treesal.” He grinned to take the sting out of his words. “I’m an artist, not a scientist.” Treesal rolled her eyes and replied, “Nesnuz, you need to know how the compounds react to each other...in this case, the two should give you a deep royal purple, enough to satisfy the Dogia’s wish for her formal plateware...” Feezal chuckled to herself. She was lucky that her children had inherited Phlox’s good charm. Lailah, the surgeon, was telling stories to the younger ones at the back of the room. Feezal’s gaze drifted towards the group of adults huddled in the corner, all dressed in black and muddy maroons. The colors of mourning. A pair of bright blue eyes met hers. Azkiel Phlox wore a flowing gown that only emphasized her girth and the cowl and hood only made Azkiel seem more intimidating. Yet Feezal saw the pain and vulnerability in those eyes. Two of her daughters were getting married and she’d lost her family’s Matriarch. Feezal felt a flash of pity for Azkiel, so she gave the botanist a small smile. Azkiel’s eyes crinkled in humor, though the cowl and hood hid her smile. Thank you, she seemed to say. Azkiel leaned to her left and whispered some words to Yutis, her second daughter. Yutis, in turn, turned to another black-clad Denobulan sitting to her left. Mettus. I thought he wasn’t coming. Phlox’s youngest son only nodded in response to his sister’s words. Ironic that Mettus was the one whose physical features resembled Phlox the most, but his attitude resembled Phlox’s the least. Feezal couldn’t understand his closed-minded attitude, but... He was the Matriarch’s favorite...and she stuffed the boy’s mind with all kinds of outmoded rubbish. Feezal bit her lip as she remembered one particular summer day, years ago, at a naming celebration for Azkiel’s youngest daughter, Opur. The Matriarch had called Feezal over to her side and... “Feezal, my dear, will you get my Mettus a cup of kassa juice? He’s busy translating some passages out of the Treatises of Antaran War for me.” Despite herself, Feezal’s eyes drifted to the serious scholar sitting next to the Matriarch, completely absorbed in the text. She forced herself to smile and answered, “Certainly. Mettus, which kind of sweetener would you like in your kassa?” Mettus’s head snapped up with a look of annoyance. “I don’t care, as long as it isn’t too sweet.” Feezal frowned, and the Matriarch admonished him, “Mettus, please apologize to your father’s wife. That is not how you address your elder.” The words sounded sincere, but Feezal noted the glimmer in the Matriarch’s eyes. Mettus sighed and put his book down in his lap. He pressed his hands together and bowed his head in the traditional manner. “Forgive me, wife of my father.” Feezal nodded and replied, “You are forgiven, son of my husband.” If it were anyone else, she would have been touched by the traditional apology. Mettus seemed to transform the words into an insult instead of an apology. She tried to keep an open mind, but Azkiel’s only son was as unpleasant as a rotting dechasa. “I will return with your kassa.” And Feezal left as quickly as she could. “...kassa, Mother?” “What?” she asked aloud. She turned her head to see Lailah looking at her with concern. “I’m sorry, Lailah, my mind was elsewhere.” “I asked you if you would like some kassa,” Lailah repeated. “I put double cream in it, just as you like it.” “Thank you, my dear.” Feezal accepted the mug with a smile. Lailah had inherited the reddish-blonde hair from Feezal’s family and Phlox’s extraordinary fine motor skills, which served her in good stead in the operating theater. Lailah also possessed her father’s sensitivity, for she glanced in the direction of Azkiel and her family. “Mettus seems quieter than usual,” Lailah said in a neutral tone. “He’s lost his greatest supporter, Lailah,” Feezal reminded her. “The Matriarch indulged him in all things and now she’s gone. It is natural for Mettus to be in shock from his loss.” “It’s more than shock, mamah. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was planning something.” Feezal sighed and shook her head. “Lailah.” “I don’t like him, mamah. He’s a bomb waiting to go off.” Feezal sighed again and tried to make light of the situation. “Well, at least we’ll have several of Enterprise’s Armory officers around for protection, just in case. I’ve told you about Lieutenant Commander Reed and his wife, but now there are two others that will be our guardians this time out.” Lailah raised her eyebrows and a glint of interest came into her eyes. “Really? Do you think Reed might consider a second wife sometime?” Feezal chuckled and shook her head. “Humans don’t see relationships that way, unfortunately, but if a man is unmated, well, anything goes.” She re-activated her bioreader and brought up some information. “Listen carefully, my dear. One of our guardians is named Bernhard Mueller—“ Ensign Johannes Birkenwald worried about his fellow Armory officer’s sanity. Both Lieutenant Commander Reed and Commander Tucker had updated him about Feezal Phlox’s previous visit to the Enterprise. Bernhard Mueller’s hand fidgeted towards the phase pistol at his side; Johannes seriously considered taking the weapon away from him, just for safety’s sake. The Bavarian gave Johannes a weak smile and resolutely clasped his hands behind his back. “Geht Dir gut, Bernhard?” Johannes asked in German. Are you OK? He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Bitte, ich brauche einen Unfall.” Please, I need an accident to happen). “Willst Du so wie der Kommandant werden?” Do you want to be like the Commandant? “Der Doktor sieht immer froh aus, wenn der Kommandant in der Krankenzimmer kommt, aber wenn ich dort werde, es wird mir sehr froh, dass Feezal dort -mich nicht jaegern wird.” The Doctor’s always happy when the Commandant ends up in Sickbay, but if I end up there, I’ll be happy because Feezal won’t be hunting me there. Bernhard’s remark surprised him into a chuckle. Like Mueller, Johannes hailed from Germany, but from Heidelberg. It was time to break the tension. He chuckled under his breath and sang softly in a sweet tenor, “Ich hab’ mein Herz in Heidelberg verloren...” Bernhard groaned and fixed him with a glare. “Bitte sehr, Johannes. Es ist nicht zu lacheln.” Come on, Johannes. It’s not funny. “Verzeihung, Bernhard,” Johannes apologized, though the grin negated the apology. “I couldn’t resist.” “You’re supposed to be helping, Johannes.” Birkenwald sobered at the reminder. “Yes, Commanders Tucker and Reed told me about that. Don’t worry, Bernhard; she’ll not get her hands on you.” The door to Jupiter Station’s Receiving Deck hissed open and Captain Archer arrived, also in uniform, and looking as uncomfortable as Bernhard. Then Travis showed up, in civvies, and other members of the crew trickled in. Hoshi Sato arrived next, her long blue-green skirt brushing against the floor. The whole ensemble looked more like a cross between a sari and a Greek chiton: sleeveless, with iridescent strands of Triaxian silk embedded within it. Technically, she wasn’t on duty; she and Malcolm were supposed to be on leave, but their curiosity about Phlox’s extended family got the better of them. Malcolm followed, armed with a phase pistol and prepared for trouble. “Herr Kommandant, Lieutenant,” greeted Bernhard. He’d recovered his professional demeanor and gave his commanding officer a brisk nod. “Is everything ready, Bernhard?” Malcolm asked. The nickname brought a slight smile to his face, despite his efforts to keep a neutral expression. “Yes, sir.” “Good man.” Phlox walked in and everyone gaped at his costume. Hoshi raised her eyebrows at the garish orange-and-brown striped tunic, with glitter and gold at every hem. “Quite...becoming, Phlox,” she said. He beamed at her. “A gift from my third wife, Zariel. She’s an actress and a director on the Denobulan stage. She’s on hiatus from directing ‘Three Gals and a Denobulan’.” “She’s the director?” Travis asked. “Wow, I didn’t know that. I gotta ask her about last season’s cliffhanger. I mean, c’mon, I can suspend my disbelief, but what’s the deal with Xarez and Felita?” Johannes shrugged and said, “Felita’s innocent, sir. Yobis is the one who threw Xarez off the balcony. Now Yobis wants to blackmail her.” “Yobis? When did Yobis work out in the gym? She couldn’t go up the mansion stairs without wheezing, Johannes!” “Xarez was wearing his new flight wings at the time, remember? I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him.” “Those flight wings couldn’t hold up a flea, much less a twenty-six kilo Denobulan male!” “Xarez fitted ‘em with extra boosters in his garage before he went to confront Felita and Yobis. Those ones he stole from the weapons labs. They had the same ID numbers.” Travis laughed. “What, do you have a high-definition receiver, Johannes? No way you could’ve been able to see those numbers.” Johannes maintained his deadpan expression. “I’m an Armory officer, sir. I’m trained to notice that kind of thing.” The rest of the crew listened to this exchange with great humor. Malcolm raised his eyebrows at Johannes and said, “I had no idea that Denobulan programming could be used as a training video, Ensign Birkenwald.” Johannes shrugged and replied, “It’s applying the principles to real-life situations, sir.” Bernhard chortled in laughter and said turned to him with a smirk. “Ach so, Johannes. Now I know what to get you for your birthday, Johannes. A subspace subscription to ‘the best of Denobulan teleoperas’.” "Sorry, Bernhard. I already have it." And Johannes gave Travis a significant look. The helmsman blushed and shrugged good-naturedly. Everyone laughed. Johannes exchanged a grin with Malcolm; Bernhard seemed to regain his sense of humor. Phlox turned to Travis and said “Ah, I’m sure Zariel will be thrilled to find sone admirers of her work. She is quite charming in her own right, you’ll see.” A voice came over Jupiter Station’s speakers. “Medical frigate Junzek has docked and passengers have disembarked.” Hoshi slipped her arm within Malcolm’s as the door opened once more. Feezal Phlox stepped into the room, her eyes widening at the size of the reception. Her eyes lighted on Phlox and she smiled. “Beloved,” she said. Phlox stepped forward to greet his wife; Hoshi hid a smile at Johannes’s dumbfounded look at the “smell and greet”, as Trip Tucker had dubbed it. As they drew apart, she added, “You look well.” “As do you,” Phlox said. He smiled at the cream-colored dress and orange accents that brought out the highlights in her hair. “I hope your trip was pleasant.” “Pleasant and educational, actually,” she answered. She smiled at Captain Archer. “Captain, a pleasure to see you again.” “Hello, Mrs. Phlox,” Archer said as he took her offered hand. “Likewise.” He made quick introductions of the Enterprise crew in the observation room. Feezal smiled at Bernhard, then at Johannes. “Gentlemen, it’s a honor to meet you both,” she said. “I have confidence that you will be able to keep the peace between the members of our family.” Phlox looked over shoulder. “Where are the girls, Feezal?” “They’re busy herding the little ones. The family’s grown since I saw you last.” Feezal kept her smile, but everyone saw the worry in her eyes. Bernhard glanced at Johannes, who glanced at Malcolm, but even Malcolm seemed puzzled at the change of her demeanor. “Mrs. Phlox?” Hoshi asked. “Is there something wrong?” Feezal sighed and addressed Phlox. “Azkiel. Yutis. Opur. Groznik. And Mettus.” Phlox blinked in surprise, which quickly turned into consternation “Mettus? Here?” “Yes. Your youngest son decided to come at the last minute, Phlox. I decided to come early and warn you. He isn’t exactly...sociable right now and with the Matriarch gone...” She sighed and nodded at Hoshi’s look of sympathy. “Well, Zariel’s brought her clan too, along with Resnuz and Okurna. So, we’re about twenty seven in all.” Bernhard choked, “Twenty seven?” She smiled at him. “Don’t worry, Ensign. My daughters Lailah and Treesal have both assured me that they will protect you and Ensign Birkenwald from the, well, eligible women of the clan.” “Um...thank you?” Bernhard said, his tone of voice making it sound more like a question. Phlox caught the gleam in Feezal’s eye and chuckled. No, he wouldn’t interfere with her plans right now. This would be interesting to see what would happen. “You’re in good hands, then,” Phlox said, addressing Feezal and the Armory officers. “So, shall we proceed to dinner, then? Captain Archer, if you’d mind—“ “Of course.” Archer’s smile was frozen as he offered Feezal his arm, and with Phlox on her other side, they left the Observation Deck, with Hoshi and Malcolm, Bernhard and Johannes, Travis, and the rest of the crew trailing behind. Back to Part 2 Continue to Part 4

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