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"Reflecting to You"
By MissAnnThropic
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None of its mine. I’m just a sad little fangirl that spends her days writing fanfic and watching taped episodes of my favorite shows. :(
Description: A different ending to In a Mirror Darkly, Part I, results in the Mirror Universe T'Pol ending up on our universe's Enterprise when the relationship between Trip and T'Pol is at a breaking point. (later becomes a cross-over with ST:TOS, Spoilers: The Tholian Web)
Chapter 13
Meeting many faces that were both familiar and not in this universe did nothing to prepare Mu'Pol for the experience of seeing herself walk into sickbay. Next to Commander Tucker, this alternate version of herself, this other T'Pol, was the most jarring encounter Mu'Pol had had since arriving on Enterprise.
Like a natural-born scientist, Mu'Pol observed this double image of herself.
Her hair was short, cut close in the old traditional fashion of Vulcan Intelligence, leading Mu'Pol to wonder about this woman's past career ventures. She herself had once considered such a hairstyle (for the functional reason that an attacker/shipmate couldn't grab her by the hair to slit her throat), but Captain Forrest had discouraged it with a simply put 'you can if you like, but I wouldn't care for it.' Knowing where her best interests lay, Mu'Pol chose not to displease Captain Forrest.
This T'Pol wore clothing more conforming of Vulcan attire in the extent of its modesty. There was no bearing of midriff that Mu'Pol had suffered on her own Enterprise. That, too, had been to appease Forrest. Mu'Pol was very cognizant that Captain Forrest considered her sexually interesting. He had never ordered her to sleep with him, but his interest was apparent; Mu'Pol had tolerated it because it was the reason she was permitted much more leeway on Enterprise than most nonhumans. In her universe, everyone knew how to use sex like the tool it was. Any respect Forrest held for her came later, after he showed her favor for her body.
What struck Mu'Pol most profoundly about this other T'Pol, however, was how she acted. It did more to cast credence on everything Archer had been saying to her than any of the captain's words. She entered sickbay beside the captain, walking within easy grabbing distance of him with no indication of caution or concern. From the moment she walked into sickbay her eyes were on Mu'Pol… not once did her eyes cut warily to the captain standing so well within striking distance of her.
The captain was obviously no threat to her.
The level look T'Pol rested upon Mu'Pol was very Vulcan in being entirely expressionless. If she was surprised or amazed by seeing an alternate version of herself, she didn't show it beyond the slight lifting of one eyebrow.
Mu'Pol mirrored the action. Fascinating, indeed.
Captain Archer stepped forward then. "Commander T'Pol, meet T'Pol."
What an utterly unnecessary introduction.
T'Pol stepped closer. "Captain Archer has informed you of what I intend to do?"
Mu'Pol liked that, direct and to the point. "Yes. A mind-meld to provide 'peace of mind' that I am not a threat to this ship or crew."
T'Pol stepped directly in front of where Mu'Pol sat on her biobed. "Yes. And you will submit to this meld and cooperate fully?"
"I have no violent intentions toward this crew. I will allow you full access to that truth." If that was all she had to do in order to be freed of this confining sickbay and its overly-meddlesome doctor, she would be pleased to do so.
The other T'Pol paused as though to consider her honesty first by reading her facial features. "Have you ever been party to a mind-meld before?"
"On several occasions," Mu'Pol replied. She saw little point in lying, if she was about to have the other woman in her head.
Archer, standing a few paces behind T'Pol's left shoulder, asked at once, "As the initiator or recipient?"
"Both, though most recently I was the initiator. I entered into a mind-meld with Commander Tucker."
For a brief second, something flashed in the other T'Pol's face at that answer. She looked… almost startled, debased, by the admission. Her brows furrowed slightly and her posture wavered from stony to hesitant. It was the first indication of any kind of emotional core that Mu'Pol had seen since her double walked into sickbay. Captain Archer shot a swift, emotional glance at his first officer. The doctor's gaze dropped to the floor.
"Doctor…?" Archer said lowly.
Phlox shook his head. "Commander Tucker was never alone with her long enough to participate in a mind-meld, and I haven't seen them in one."
Mu'Pol realized the source of the confusion. "I meant the Commander Tucker from my universe."
"Oh…" Archer merely mumbled and went quiet.
T'Pol visibly stiffened and rolled back her shoulders, tilting her chin upward in a subtle grab for control.
Strange, these versions of her shipmates. She was coming to understand that there was something powerful going on with this universe's Commander Tucker, he had been the source of some very strained moments since her arrival, but what that 'something' might be Mu'Pol could not begin to guess.
T'Pol recovered herself and said, "Then it will not be a jarring experience if you are familiar with the process. Do not resist my entrance or my exploration; I will confine my probing to matters concerning your identity and reasons for being aboard this ship."
"I understand. I have no intention of resisting."
T'Pol stepped forward, hand raised, then she stopped short of making contact. "Do not enter my mind."
Mu'Pol found that a bit hypocritical, but she was outnumbered and the decided outsider. She had little choice. "Understood."
T'Pol moved close to the biobed where Mu'Pol sat, nearly leaning into Mu'Pol's knees to stand comfortably close enough to begin the mind-meld. T'Pol lifted her hand and put her fingers into place on the other woman's face. She had to adjust the position of her fingertips twice looking for the correct contact points. Mu'Pol recognized the fumbling of a novice and was secretly taken aback to realize her double was so unfamiliar with performing a mind-meld. She herself had found it an indispensable tool on many occasions.
Soon enough, the placement was right and T'Pol took a deep breath and closed her eyes to begin the meld. Mu'Pol closed her eyes and opened her thoughts.
Their thoughts were merging.
Slowly, another consciousness moved into her own. It was a familiar sensation for Mu'Pol, who had been a participant in many mind-melds with other Vulcans, but the unique mind that touched hers jarred her because never had she felt essentially her own mind join with her own mind. At first, it felt like all her being was echoed. It was disorienting and uncomfortable and for a second Mu'Pol almost severed the link in reflexive self-defense. But her logic caught up with her and she knew any effort to leave the meld would be seen as resistance. These strangers had been different from the Enterprise crew she knew so far, but she had little doubt that any person deemed a threat to them or the ship would be executed with little remorse or hesitation. It would be the logical human thing to do. She forced herself to weather the reverberating essence of T'Pol.
As the meld took form, slight differences in the two minds of essentially the same woman became apparent. In time, those differences amplified and became the whole of each woman. It was all that kept them from losing themselves in the oneness of a single consciousness.
It was unlike any mind-meld Mu'Pol had ever felt, and when the reactive aversion to it abated she found it very… intriguing.
Mu'Pol felt the other T'Pol tentatively move into her thoughts and gave her access.
Their thoughts were one.
T'Pol moved to the core of the self, where Mu'Pol existed as a sentient being beyond instinct and conditioned responses. There Mu'Pol was a knot of memories, values, familial relationships, alliances, motivations, intentions, rationale… all the conceptualizations that defined her as an individual person. She allowed her mirror self to explore these, to pick them apart and study them and understand they were honest and true.
Mu'Pol sensed the other T'Pol grow satisfied with her findings. She knew the moment certainty took hold and T'Pol believed and knew that Mu'Pol was not a danger to the ship or crew of this upside-down Enterprise. For that recognition, Mu'Pol felt relief. Her freedom was in sight, blessed solitude and silence enough to properly meditate.
Then Mu'Pol felt the other woman in her mind stray to another thread of thought. It had the sense of an aside, an unplanned excursion… the mind 'wandering' within a meld, a faux pas typical of inexperienced melders. This straying of thoughts had something more to it, though, a drive behind it, compelling it onward. T'Pol was searching, looking, seeking… what?
Mu'Pol started when she felt the memory of Commander Tucker triggered in her thoughts. She realized that, inexplicably, the other T'Pol was looking for Commander Tucker in her mind.
Mu'Pol felt a stirring of indignation. Whatever T'Pol sought as she tracked down Mu'Pol's mental vault of Tucker, that was not the purpose of this meld. Commander Tucker had nothing to do with Mu'Pol's identity or if she had plans to harm the ship or her crew. And there were memories of her universe's Commander Tucker, feelings knotted in with those memories, that Mu'Pol would not want to share with another. She instantly put up shields to ward off T'Pol, too late to stop T'Pol from gleaning some knowledge of Mu'Pol's regard for Commander Tucker, but even as Mu'Pol shielded herself she questioned the need in the first place. Why was Commander Tucker specifically important to this T'Pol? Her curiosity made her question, made her seek, and so adept at the mind-meld was she that the simple desire to know an answer projected her own consciousness into the other woman's mind.
A crushing wall of emotion assailed her the moment she was in. It was powerful, suffocating, unbearable. It was grief as Mu'Pol had never known before.
The two women broke apart abruptly. Mu'Pol's eyes snapped open and she regarded the mirror image of herself standing a pace before her biobed. The other woman was shaken. They were both shocked by what they had found in each other's minds.
"T'Pol?" Archer stepped toward his first officer in concern at her state.
T'Pol did not look away from Mu'Pol as she said in a slightly faltering voice, "She has been speaking the truth. I found nothing in her mind that speaks to intent to harm us."
Archer seemed intent on inquiring further about T'Pol's wellness, but the deliberate skirting of the matter on the part of his first officer seemed to sway him otherwise. "You sure?" he asked to her assessment.
T'Pol gave a bare nod. Finally, she glanced up at her captain. "If you no longer require my assistance, I would like to rest a moment."
Archer nodded. "Yes, of course, take whatever time you need."
Mu'Pol glanced over at Archer. He sounded so sincere, like he actually, honestly cared about T'Pol's well-being.
Phlox ran a scanner over Mu'Pol as she continued to sit on the biobed and ruminate on the things she'd discovered in T'Pol's mind. "I would recommend they both get some rest after that, Captain." The doctor nodded toward the door meaningfully.
Archer looked over at his ship's visitor and there was a definite light in his eyes, almost… compassionate. "All right. M… T'Pol, when you feel up to it, you're free to go, as promised."
Mu'Pol nodded gratefully at Archer.
"I will be only a moment longer, Doctor," T'Pol said in a very quiet voice.
"Very well. Captain."
The captain left and Phlox stepped away to draw the curtain around the bed to afford the injured woman some privacy.
T'Pol glanced at the doctor while he closed the curtain. When he had done so and moved off, out of hearing distance, T'Pol stepped in toward the other woman and said in a low voice, "You forced yourself into Commander Tucker's mind." It was an unveiled accusation.
T'Pol countered with one of her own. "You grieve."
The other T'Pol looked rattled, speechless, then she turned and left.
Shaken and tired from the meld, Mu'Pol lay down on the bed and took a deep breath. She did not know what to make of what had just happened. Even in this strange place she found herself where she expected to experience the unexpected, she had not expected it.
*****
Hoshi Sato made her way toward sickbay with a bundle under her arm. It was the beginning of the alpha shift's lunch hour, and she had begged off eating with Travis to run an errand. Not without a fair amount of pouting on the boomer's part to secure a promise that she would make it up to him later. Honestly, she didn't like missing lunch with Travis any more than he did, but Hoshi thought it the better choice, given the circumstances. She had it from Crewman Cutler that Archer had been to see Mu'Pol that morning and he was ready to release her from sickbay.
Hoshi figured some formal introductions were in order and maybe some ice-breaking with T'Pol of Vulcan for the second time in Hoshi's time with Starfleet.
When she commanded the sickbay doors open Doctor Phlox was prompt in his greeting. "Ah, Ensign, what can I do for you?"
Hoshi smiled at the congenial doctor. "Actually, I was hoping to spring your patient. Assuming she's still here."
"Yes, and I imagine anxious to leave by now. Be my guest," he gestured toward the back of the medical room where a closed curtain afforded one patient privacy. Hoshi nodded and moved toward the curtained bed.
She stopped at the white fabric as though it were a door and cleared her throat. "Um… hello?"
After a few seconds the curtain pulled aside and Hoshi blinked to see, for the first time, the much-discussed double of their Commander T'Pol. Mu'Pol, in the flesh and staring back at her with an unmistakably Vulcan look that could make any green ensign squirm.
Luckily, Hoshi was a little more seasoned than that. Still, it was rattling to see an exact replica of someone she knew standing before her, identical but different all at once. It brought back uncomfortable and sad memories of Sim.
The unexpected reminder shook Hoshi's confidence and the opening welcome she'd planned to say.
For whatever it was worth, Mu'Pol seemed a little uncertain how to react to Hoshi, too.
"Um… hi. I'm Ensign Hoshi Sato."
One very Vulcan eyebrow rose in answer. "Yes, I know."
"Right… um…" Hoshi marveled on the irony of a communications specialist not knowing what to say. Her eyes fell to her package and she held it out to the Vulcan in offering. "Here… I thought you might like this."
Mu'Pol accepted it with caution and a close eye, as if she expected the present to jump up and bite her. "What is it?"
"A uniform. I heard you were being released from sickbay and thought you'd like something to wear besides medical scrubs. Of course, they would have issued you a standard, non-descript jumpsuit, but…"
Mu'Pol unrolled the bundle and found herself looking at a one-piece light blue bodysuit of the same style Commander T'Pol had been wearing that morning. The only thing missing from this set was rank pips. Mu'Pol glanced back at Hoshi querulously but also a little pleasantly surprised… or so Hoshi hoped that was the look she was getting from the Vulcan woman.
Hoshi smiled. "I got it from the quartermaster; he keeps a few sets in stock for Commander T'Pol. The commander prefers them, they're woven from a fine thermal material. Since Enterprise's environmentals aren't exactly set to a comfortable temperature for Vulcans I thought you might be more comfortable in this than the Starfleet jumpsuit."
Mu'Pol looked like she wasn't used to receiving a gift. "That was very… thoughtful." Another awkward pause stretched, and just when Hoshi was about to say something inane to get the conversation going again, Mu'Pol said, "I understand from Captain Archer that you have volunteered to loan me your quarters for the duration of my stay."
Hoshi nodded readily. "That's right. In fact, if you're ready, I can take you there now. I imagine you're ready for some peace and quiet."
Mu'Pol studied Hoshi curiously. Hoshi could guess the reason. "Don't get me wrong, I love the doctor and consider him a dear friend, but I know Vulcans aren't quite as fond of idle chit-chat as we humans," she smiled, "or Denobulans, are."
"No, we're not," Mu'Pol said gravely, causing Hoshi to stifle a chuckle at the tone of her voice. Mu'Pol rolled up the uniform again and squared her shoulders. "Very well, Ensign Sato… I will accompany you."
"Great, come on," Hoshi turned to leave and Mu'Pol fell into step beside her. Phlox saw them leaving but only gave Hoshi a wide smile and small wave just before they stepped out into the corridor.
There weren't many crewmen roaming the halls, so there was minimal contact with stunned and agape crewmembers to the presence of this double T'Pol. Which was just as well, Hoshi figured as she led Mu'Pol down the corridor toward crew quarters. Mu'Pol walked just slightly behind her and to the right, noticeably farther away than T'Pol would have walked, Hoshi noted.
Hoshi may have been mistaken, but it didn't seem like the chasm between her and T'Pol had seemed quite as wide on the outset as the distance between her and Mu'Pol seemed now. Maybe she was just so comfortable with Commander T'Pol that she couldn't accurately remember the frigid, closed-off Vulcan she had been when she first came aboard.
Or maybe this visitor was much more different than appeared at first acquaintance.
Hoshi cast several sideways glances at her companion as they walked together, but Mu'Pol seemed perfectly content to make the entire journey through the ship in absolute silence. Her gaze was moving constantly, taking in the sights of Enterprise like a new recruit on the grand tour, no doubt comparing this ship to the Enterprise she knew.
"So…" Hoshi began stiltedly, "I guess this must all be really strange for you. I mean, being here."
Mu'Pol looked fleetingly at Hoshi. "Yes."
Hoshi mulled over what to say next. 'And I thought small-talk with Commander T'Pol was hard,' Hoshi thought despairingly, but she was not one to be deterred. This was, in a sense, a first contact from Hoshi's point of view, and she wasn't ready to give up just yet.
"I imagine it's confusing, too, seeing the same people you knew but having them be completely different from what you expect. Captain Archer said the crew from where you come from is very different, at least."
"From those with whom I have interacted aboard this ship so far, that is correct."
"It's given the crew a lot to gossip about, wondering what we're all like in another universe. Do we know each other in your universe? I mean, is there a Hoshi Sato on the Enterprise in the other universe you came from?"
Mu'Pol gave her a strange, pensive look. "Yes, I served with another Hoshi Sato." Her voice was tense, Hoshi thought.
"Hmmm… I take it you weren't friends with her."
"Hardly. Despite our animosity towards each other, however, I will compliment her for her mastery with knives. Her hand-to-hand combat skills were particularly well-honed."
Hoshi blinked. "Oh, well… maybe not friends then, but you must have gotten along with her well enough if you two were sparring partners."
Mu'Pol looked sharply at Hoshi then. "There was nothing mock about our battles."
Hoshi gaped when the meaning of that sunk in. She stopped walking and Mu'Pol paused to await her, a testing and haughty look in her eyes as she watched Hoshi comprehend what she'd said.
Hoshi regained her composure and continued their trek toward her quarters. "I… I know it doesn't make sense, but I feel like I should say I'm sorry."
Mu'Pol canted her head fractionally at that. "Why?"
"Well… I would never think of trying to hurt our Commander T'Pol. We're not exactly friends, but I have a lot of respect for her and I like her. Enough to never be capable of harming her. If I ever did by accident, I'd apologize for it. If the other me ever hurt you… It's stupid to feel at all responsible for that other Hoshi's actions, I know."
"Agreed."
Vulcans… so succinct.
"I hope Captain Archer in your universe threw that other Hoshi in the brig for drawing a weapon on you," Hoshi said with conviction.
Mu'Pol countered, "Archer bet money that I would lose the conflict between Ensign Sato and I that he was there to witness."
Hoshi faltered in her stride again. "Are you serious?"
Mu'Pol lifted a brow at Hoshi.
"My god… I had no idea your universe was so…"
"Cut-throat, I believe, is the preferred Empire term."
Hoshi resumed walking, cowed and solemn at the picture Mu'Pol had painted of her universe. Hoshi had been so eager to hear about another life she may have led had her choices been different. Disappointment was bitter on her tongue. Mu'Pol took up her place at Hoshi's side again, remaining stolidly silent as Hoshi mused somberly, "I was really curious about the Enterprise crew from your universe, but what I've heard so far… That's going to be hard come to terms with; it's a disturbing thought that the people I think of very highly, that I, could be like that." Hoshi looked toward Mu'Pol, "I understand how it might be hard for you to trust any of us. I can promise you that no one on this ship behaves that way."
Mu'Pol hesitated then. "From what I have seen so far, I must concur." She paused. "As you said, it is 'hard to come to terms with'."
"If there's ever anything I can do to help…"
For a moment, that offer of aide seemed to render the visitor awkwardly silent and Hoshi gave her some time to turn it over in her mind. She was, after all, accustomed to a Hoshi Sato more likely to kill her than assist her (though the very idea turned Hoshi's stomach).
At long delay, Mu'Pol said as they entered the turbolift. "I was surprised that you would give me the use of your quarters. I… appreciate that."
Hoshi smiled brightly. "No problem, I'm happy to do what I can. We had a Vulcan dignitary on board once and I gave up my quarters for her, too. Honestly, it's easiest for me to relocate. I keep my quarters very clean, so it's not a big deal for me to pack up and clear out. We have some crewmembers who are only as tidy as regulations require them to be." She smiled at her own friendly poke at her colleagues.
"I see," Mu'Pol said as the doors opened and she followed Hoshi out into yet another corridor.
"We're almost there," Hoshi noted. "I know you probably want to be by yourself after everything that's happened, but I'm heading to the mess hall after I show you to your quarters. You're welcome to join me if you like. If you're hungry."
Mu'Pol seemed to contemplate the decision a moment. "That would be… agreeable. I am hungry."
"Great! Well, here we are," Hoshi stopped at the door to her quarters and commanded the door open. "I'll wait for you to get changed."
Mu'Pol nodded and stepped into the cabin, letting the door close behind her.
Hoshi stood outside, waiting and thinking about the universe which Mu'Pol had described in glancing blows. The little she had heard had been chilling. She could now understand Archer's sucker-punched expression in the debrief the other day. Hoshi had honestly been imagining a universe where things were only slightly different from how they were here. Someone with a tattoo they didn't have here, or an unexpected hobby or a cheesy goatee. Maybe a few scandalous romances in that universe between cordial friends in this universe. She didn't think it was a place where Hoshi Sato was a killer.
It hadn't slipped her notice how tense Mu'Pol was. How watchful and careful. She moved and observed like a wild, trapped animal. Even if her words were hard to believe, her body language was living proof. Mu'Pol was used to fight or flight with the crew of Enterprise.
Hoshi hoped she had enough of an appetite to enjoy lunch.
Her thoughts were interrupted when the door to her quarters opened and Mu'Pol stepped out.
Hoshi did a double-take and shook her head. It was twice as disorienting to look at Mu'Pol when she was garbed identically to Commander T'Pol. The only difference was the hair.
"The garment fits," Mu'Pol stated plainly.
"Good. So, let's get some lunch."
Hoshi and Mu'Pol made their way quietly to the mess hall.
When they arrived, they were met with many overt stares. Or rather, everyone was staring at Mu'Pol.
Hoshi glanced back at her companion. "Don't worry… they'll stop once they get used to seeing you. This is pretty weird for us, too."
Mu'Pol looked simultaneously unappeased and annoyed at the attention but said nothing.
Hoshi turned her focus to finding a place to sit. Naturally, she sought out Travis. He was sitting off to the side and flashed her a brilliant smile and wave when he caught her eye.
Hoshi went to pick up a tray and was talking as she did so. "Looks like there's room at Travis's table, if that's fine with you," she glanced back to check on her companion and realized Mu'Pol had not followed her toward the tray dispenser. She was standing in the same spot she'd been in when they first entered the mess hall. Her eyes were locked on something across the room… Hoshi followed her gaze and discovered the focus on Mu'Pol attention.
Mu'Pol was staring at Trip and T'Pol sitting alone in their customary table of uncomfortable silence at the back of the mess hall. Hoshi could well understand Mu'Pol's discomfiture. It would be strange enough seeing doubles of people she'd known on her Enterprise walking around the ship, it would be absolutely mind-boggling to see yourself.
When she came back to herself, Mu'Pol mutely followed Hoshi's lead in taking a tray and sitting down with Travis. Travis all but pounced on Mu'Pol as soon as they were seated, asking her questions about her universe, about herself, about how she was feeling… Hoshi noted, however, that amid a hundred questions he managed to do all the talking. He seemed to pick up on how uncomfortable Mu'Pol was, just as Hoshi had, and resorted to providing empty, one-sided conversation to keep the atmosphere at the table from becoming absolutely Arctic.
It reminded Hoshi of why she found Travis so endearing, even amid boomer bravado.
Hoshi spent most of lunch studying their strange guest. She looked so incredibly like T'Pol, but the subtle body language was completely foreign to one adept at reading the small clues. T'Pol had never been completely comfortable with the human crew of Enterprise outside of Trip. She'd always carried a certain tension, the poise of the outsider, that swept off sharp angles and rebounded off tight muscles. It was the poise of a solitary Vulcan among emotional aliens. Only with Trip had T'Pol learned to sit back against the seat back, to drop her shoulders and loosen her jaw. With everyone else on Enterprise, T'Pol had come to know she was accepted, even when not completely understood. It afforded T'Pol a degree of ease that translated in her posture to a degree even Hoshi had not fully appreciated before now that she had another T'Pol for comparison.
It was an entirely different story with Mu'Pol. Mu'Pol was taut like she was expecting, at any moment, to have to fight for her life. When she finished her salad and excused herself to return to her newly-loaned quarters, even her last darting glance at T'Pol across the room was loaded and… fraught with tension.
It was with nary a courteous word that she made her escape from the mess hall the moment she was finished eating.
Hoshi knew it would take a lot of hard work and time for Mu'Pol to learn to trust them. It had taken T'Pol years, and she had not been asked to overcome memories of a cruel and deadly human crew.
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