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"Reflecting to You"
By MissAnnThropic
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None of its mine. I’m just a sad little fangirl that spends her days writing fanfic and watching taped episodes of my favorite shows. :(
Description: A different ending to In a Mirror Darkly, Part I, results in the Mirror Universe T'Pol ending up on our universe's Enterprise when the relationship between Trip and T'Pol is at a breaking point. (later becomes a cross-over with ST:TOS, Spoilers: The Tholian Web)
Chapter 14
That evening, Captain Archer decided he had enough solid, supporting information to present his latest report to the most scrutinizing, doubting high-ranking official he knew.
Ambassador Soval.
It had been some time since Archer had made any sort of 'report' to Soval, but in this instance it was entirely voluntary on Archer's part, it was in fact his idea, and for that he felt very good. It felt like real progress toward a respectful relationship between humans and Vulcans. Of course, Admiral Gardner had to approve Archer's conference with Soval beforehand, but having secured that approval, actually contacting Soval felt not like a child reporting to a parent, but a colleague reporting to a colleague. He was informing Vulcan's official because it was the neighborly thing to do; their amazing guest aboard Enterprise was Vulcan, after all.
Archer was even getting better at dealing with Vulcans outside of his acculturated first officer… or so he thought. Maybe he was just getting used to Soval, too. Not as familiar with him, though, because T'Pol he'd throw half-formed ideas at to see how they bounced back of a logic board. Archer still got his 'ducks in a row' before placing the call to Ambassador Soval.
Looking at the ambassador's sober face on his computer screen after giving his report of the situation, Archer was glad he had established such a solid foundation of facts when endeavoring to broach an utterly fantastic event to the logic-loving politician. Soval looked very, very skeptical, but frustrated as well because he knew Archer was serious. Soval, at least, had come to believe Archer and not immediately dismiss him as a 'primitive biped'.
Even if Soval had wanted to disbelieve Archer, the captain had requested Commander T'Pol be present during the communication with Soval. So if Soval doubted, suspected a human habit to 'jump to conclusions', he needed only look over Archer's shoulder at the implacable science officer to see utter sincerity. Vulcans, after all, never joke.
'Or so they all say,' Archer thought wryly before Soval interrupted his thoughts. "That is a… fascinating report, Captain."
"You can say that again."
Soval almost frowned. "Why would I repeat myself? Was the transmission disrupted?"
Archer wiped at his mouth with a hand to cover his smile. "No, Ambassador. I mean that even with physical proof staring us right in the face, it's almost too wild for us to believe."
"Indeed." Soval's eyes cast upward from Archer. "You engaged in a mind-meld with this Vulcan woman?"
"Yes," T'Pol answered flatly.
"And was there any clouding of her mind that would cast suspicion or doubt upon her or her claims?"
T'Pol paused a Vulcan heartbeat. "None, Ambassador."
Archer looked askance at Soval. "It is pretty amazing, you must have a million questions of your own, but I'm afraid I can't turn Enterprise around just to deliver her to Vulcan for you."
Soval simply stared. "Agreed."
Archer started at that, despite himself. "You don't want her in your custody as soon as possible?"
Soval lifted one eyebrow. "No. Aside from the purpose of satisfying scientific curiosity given her origin, there's no reason this other T'Pol should be remanded to Vulcan custody with any undue haste."
Archer looked first at T'Pol then at Soval again, hardly believing what he was hearing. "All due respect, Ambassador, but every other instance that we've had a Vulcan on board, other than Commander T'Pol, Vulcan High Command was very eager to pluck them out."
Soval nearly looked perturbed. "I believe every prior instance of Vulcans aboard Enterprise have been there under extenuating circumstances. Never was it a demonstration of inherent distrust in humans' abilities to host a Vulcan citizen."
'Not officially, anyway,' a very quiet voice in the back of Archer's mind piped in annoyingly. He needed to work on that.
Soval continued, "Unless this new passenger of yours is demanding refuge at once on the homeworld…"
"No… actually, she doesn't really know where she wants to go from here. Not that I blame her."
Soval inclined his head faintly. "Then she may remain with you if she chooses until Enterprise's regularly scheduled return to Sol." Obviously the shock read on Archer's face, because Soval went on to say, "Enterprise is currently on a mission that has the potential to greatly benefit Vulcan. It would be illogical to needlessly delay that objective which will be for the good of the many to serve the good of the one."
Archer gave a small smile for that acknowledgment of Enterprise's importance, that camaraderie with the ambassador as two men of equal status and weight… even if he didn't receive an espirit de corps look of brothers in return from the Vulcan on screen.
"I couldn't agree more, Ambassador."
Archer did earn an eyebrow for that. 'Guess he never thought he'd heard a human say that,' Archer thought wryly.
"If there is nothing else, Captain, I bid you a safe journey."
"Goodnight, Ambassador."
"Live long and prosper, T'Pol," Soval cast over Archer's shoulder again.
"Peace and long life, Ambassador," T'Pol replied.
With that the screen went blank.
Archer turned in his chair to gaze up at T'Pol. "Well, what do you make of that?"
"Was I supposed to make anything of it, Captain? You seem almost surprised by the ambassador's decision."
"I am."
T'Pol nearly scowled as though perplexed. "It was in concurrence with your own."
"That's why I'm surprised." Archer stood. "Well, I guess the old ambassador's not so bad after all. Maybe he's growing tolerant of us overly-emotional humans."
T'Pol dead-panned, "He may be, but you would still be wise to refrain from referring to him as 'old' to his face."
Archer chuckled and thought merrily, 'looks like T'Pol hasn't completely lost her sense of humor after all.'
"Well, seems we're going to have your twin on board with us for a while longer."
T'Pol, had she been human, would have sighed. "She is not my 'twin', twins are siblings. This other T'Pol and I are not."
Archer nodded indulgently. "Yes, I know, but for lack of a better, easier way to describe her…"
T'Pol folded her hands behind her back in surrender. "As you wish."
Archer glanced at the chronometer and noted the time. "What I wish right now is dinner. Would you join me, T'Pol?"
T'Pol tensed and hesitated noticeably. Archer's good mood dampened. He had stood back and watched T'Pol go through whatever grief process Vulcans went through, but he missed her dry wit and sharp intellect.
Actually, what he missed was her wit and intellect playing off Trip's quips and japes. He missed both his friends before misery had suffocated their spirits.
"It's not an order," Archer said more somberly, and gently, to T'Pol's obvious reluctance to eat with him. "But it's been a while since you joined me in the captain's mess. I've missed your company."
T'Pol pushed back her shoulders and lifted her chin. "I will dine with you if you wish."
Archer wished she didn't make it sound like she was bearing a burden to deign to share dinner with him, but he didn't let on that he was hurt by her disinterest. "Great. I'll call up Chef and have him bring something."
From the enthusiasm on her face, he may as well have been suggesting they strip down naked and prance around for a native fertility rite while singing Jingle Bells.
Archer dreaded to think this dinner with T'Pol would be just as tense and uneasy as his dinner with Trip had been.
*****
Archer admitted to himself that when he predicted an evening as uncomfortable as the one he spent with Trip, he was wrong. Dinner with T'Pol was even more awkward than his dinner with Trip had been. The silence and despondence were the same, but added to that was the unreadable veneer of Vulcan that T'Pol had donned once again since the death of her daughter.
Archer was determined to let her talk first. Let her set the tone, guide the topic, do anything he could to make her a little more comfortable in an evidently uncomfortable situation without letting her tuck her tail between her legs and isolate herself yet again. Just let her get the conversation started and he'd go wherever she led it.
Instead, he was pretty damn sure she intended to go through the entire meal not uttering a word to him. She sat silently across from him slowly eating her plomeek broth and dumplings. Archer smirked to himself. The dumplings were Trip's doing. The engineer had sampled plomeek broth once, at T'Pol's repeated recommendations, and when he relented and tried it Trip had succinctly diagnosed 'could use some dumplings'. T'Pol had not appreciated the suggestion. And of course, it had been a small battle of wills for T'Pol to even consider defiling her traditional Vulcan dish with human cuisine. Archer had watched Trip wheedle and hound T'Pol to give it a try until she finally agreed just to shut Trip up. Now, T'Pol was just as likely to take her plomeek with small lumps of dough as she was to eat it plain.
Archer watched her drop her spoon once more to the bottom of the bowl to come up with a perfect beige ball settled in a private swimming pool of plomeek. Not Archer's idea of mouth-watering, but T'Pol seemed to enjoy it.
But even now she looked about as enthusiastic as if she were eating sawdust.
Archer fixed his eyes on his meatloaf and tried to think of something to say. At least with Trip there had been a friendship that had predated their service on Enterprise together on which to rely. There was a foundation, a way to see past the chief engineer of Enterprise to the man inside.
With T'Pol, she all too easily became the untouchable, the Vulcan who had stepped unhappily on to the ship four years ago, and Archer didn't know how to reach her.
Not that his background with Trip had helped him much on that front, Archer recalled sourly.
He looked up at T'Pol again and thought 'but by god, I'm at least going to try.'
Since she was Vulcan, he decided a direct approach his best option… he knew T'Pol had a talent for talking around a question if he left it vague.
"T'Pol."
Her eyes cast up at him in a bare demonstration of interest.
Archer rested his utensil against his plate and leaned slightly forward. "How have you been doing?"
"I am current on all my of assignments and my duties are without complications."
'So this is how it's going to be,' Archer thought wearily as he said, "That's not exactly what I meant."
"Then be more specific, what exactly did you mean?" T'Pol returned flatly, as though untroubled, but Archer noted she had stopped eating. The rigid Vulcanness of her response struck him as painfully as a knife wound to his skin.
"I just haven't seen much of you lately."
T'Pol gave him the barest tick of one eyebrow. "You see me every day on the bridge."
Vulcans and their literal-mindedness, it was one of their characteristics that made Archer want to scream. He hadn't had to suffer it from his science officer (outside the spark of humor) in a long time. "I've seen my first officer on duty, yes… I mean, I haven't really seen you, my friend."
T'Pol resisted frowning and Archer could practically see her desire to argue that first officer and friend were one and the same person.
"You've been keeping to yourself a lot… I just want to know if you're okay."
T'Pol leaned back fractionally from the table… and him. "I'm fine."
Archer studied her intently, wondering if his disbelief was as plain on his face as it was in his heart. "T'Pol…" he began gently, and at her vacant expression he set down his fork completely and framed his plate with a forearm resting on either side. He locked gazes with T'Pol and held firm. "There's nothing wrong with admitting when you're feeling angry… or sad. Sometimes facing those feelings, accepting them, helps a person start to move past their heartaches."
"Perhaps I choose not to move past my child," T'Pol snapped back before she could think. The mistake registered on her face at once and she looked shamefully away. "I apologize."
Archer actually felt good that she'd let some of her anguish out, showed something other than quintessential, unemotional Vulcan.
"Don't apologize, you're entitled; you lost a daughter. You have every right in the world to be upset."
"Vulcans do not get upset," she argued, but it was half-hearted and weak.
"I don't believe that."
T'Pol shot him a near-glower for his audacity in accusing a Vulcan of succumbing to emotions.
Archer lifted the fingers of one hand in a tiny 'give me a minute' gesture. "I don't believe that because if you loved Elizabeth her death would have to upset you, and I don't doubt for a second that you loved her very much." Not now that he understood the workings of the Vulcan parent-child bond.
T'Pol shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She seemed uncertain on how to respond for a moment before saying, "Vulcans define their attachment to their children differently than to call it 'love'."
"I'm sure they do," Archer answered, "but a rose by any other name…"
T'Pol fell silent.
Archer tried to catch her eye. "Is there anything I can do? If you just wanted to talk, I could listen. For humans, that can be very therapeutic."
"I fail to see the point," T'Pol said archly. "Talking will not change the fact my daughter is dead."
"No, but it could help you deal with it."
"I am 'dealing with it' well enough on my own."
Archer sighed. She was obviously going to fight him every step of the way, and that wasn't the kind of company he wanted to be to her right now.
"All right, you don't have to talk if you don't want to." Archer took a sip of his water and once he returned his glass to the table he said, "But I'll make you the same offer I made Trip… if you want to take any additional time just ask and you'll get it."
Archer was actually surprised when T'Pol seemed to consider his offer. Trip had rebuffed it immediately. T'Pol was contemplating it. If anything, Archer would have expected the opposite with Trip needing more time and T'Pol burying herself in work.
Clearly, he didn't know his friends as well as he'd thought he did.
"I understand," T'Pol answered at delay.
Archer nodded, unappeased but resigned. 'If she won't let me help her…' he thought and eyed his first officer carefully as he closed one delicate subject only to open another. "Have you talked to Trip lately?"
T'Pol stiffened. "Yes. I… had a difference of opinion with him in the mess hall few days ago."
"Oh… nothing serious, I hope."
A telling pause. "Nothing to report."
Of course not. "I've seen him a few times, when he wasn't holed up in engineering. He's been pretty scarce since… since Vulcan. He hasn't been looking too good lately. I tried to get him to talk to me, let him vent some of the pent-up emotions that we humans definitely have when we're hurting, but… well, the truth is I don't think I'm the one he really wants to talk to." Archer glanced up meaningfully at T'Pol. If she caught his subtle hint she gave no indication of it.
Instead, T'Pol said, "I suspect your assessment of Commander Tucker's nature is in error."
Archer was surprised by that and he was sure it was plastered all over his face. He couldn't help it. A Vulcan telling him he didn't know his own best friend?
T'Pol continued to his look of mild shock, "In times of great emotional distress Command Tucker is not one inclined to 'talk about it' as a means of solving his inner conflict." T'Pol paused. "If we are making use of inane human metaphors tonight, I believe the most apt one in this instance is 'blood from a stone'."
Archer gaped. Damn. She was right. How the hell did a Vulcan become better at reading a human, one Archer considered a very close friend, than Archer himself?
But he had to keep in mind this wasn't just any Vulcan, it was T'Pol, and they were talking about Trip. He should know better by now than to bet against T'Pol when it came to the chief engineer.
"You're right… I never even thought about it. I mean, in hindsight, I know Trip really withdrew into himself after his sister died. At the time I was too obsessed with the Xindi to really notice, then later… I just thought… Well, honestly, I thought he was just going to you instead of me for comfort. That he was talking, just not to me."
T'Pol would not meet his eyes.
Archer pressed on with great care. "I don't know if Trip's ever expressed his gratitude for… whatever you did to get him through his sister's death. You really helped him a lot, T'Pol… maybe even saved him."
T'Pol was stone-still.
"When we first entered the Expanse and Trip was so… so angry… I wondered if I'd ever see him smile again." Archer smiled faintly to himself at the memory. "I remember the first time I saw him smile after his sister died was to smile at you."
T'Pol's voice cracked slightly as she commented, "Many alien cultures view the baring of teeth as a sign of aggression."
Archer was baffled by the seemingly random remark. "That's… very interesting.
"I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, T'Pol, I'm just saying that… that right now, you and Trip might be what each other really needs. I doubt I can break through to Trip and get him to smile again; I wasn't the one to do it before and I probably won't be this time.
"And I don't want to see you give up all the progress you've made, how far you've come. Maybe I'm wrong, but it really seemed like you were getting to be comfortable with us.
"I just want you both to recover from losing Elizabeth as best as you possibly can."
T'Pol looked almost fit to start shaking, enough that Archer began to grow concerned. Just before he asked if she was all right, she said, "If you do not mind, Captain, I believe at the moment I would benefit most from meditation. I will retire for the night, with your leave."
Archer nodded. "Of course… good night, T'Pol."
T'Pol rose and left the captain's mess, leaving behind a half-eaten bowl of plomeek and dumplings.
Archer pinched his temples with the thumb and middle finger of his right hand.
If he wasn't cut out to counsel a fellow human, he had no hope of counseling a Vulcan.
He hated feeling so helpless, watching his two friends aching, but standing back and watching was all he could do.
Sometimes, caring so much about his crew was a real burden to bear, almost too much to ask of one man already tasked with the safety of the ship.
Back to Chapter 13
Continue to Chapter 15
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